It has been quite a while since i last updated my blog. Was super busy with my exams and of course super lazy after exams. Work has been quite hectic as well. But much things happened over the past few months. Bought so much stuffs and i guess i really have to stop buying things which i hardly use! oh my goodness. I can't believe I've actually bought more than 20lipsticks in 1 month from different brands like Dior, Mac, Chanel and some from 3CE as well! And i didn't even use any of them yet! Or maybe just used once or twice only!

I've stopped my lipstick addiction already! And didn't even get any since my last update! which is good news! :)

Anyway, last weekend was sad and happy at the same time! Had a serious talk with my bf. Talked about marriage and all. I was so afraid that both of us think differently and will end up not being together. although we love each other, will happiness outweighs the sadness and worrisome behind this relationship? Thus, we had a long talk.... all the while he knew about my thoughts of marriage. I want to get married before 30! In fact, i used to have a goal to get married at age of 24 and have my 1st baby-boy around 26.  Since we are of the same age, he never thought of settling down early and ultimately he wants to get married maybe around 30+. However, I could never accept that. I'm just so afraid that this difference between us will eventually break us apart. Hence the talk. :(
He told me that  he really cares about me and us.. and want to spend the rest of his life with me. He just want to be financially stable and able to afford a house before getting married. I know all these.. but my question to him is : when do you consider financially stable? When you earn 5 digits per month? When you are 50? When you retire? Is actually excuse isnt it?
I did told him if a guy really wants to be with a girl, he will act out of rationality and cant wait to settle down with her.... Maybe because i just love him more than he does..
at the end he did compromise and told me that maybe we could try to settle down at the age of 29.
To  be honest, i did not like the idea. Deep down, i put much thoughts about it... Is it really so important about getting married before 30? Is it really what i want? Why should i rush? Is it because of principles issues or is it because of peer pressure/ family pressure? So many many things which i thought were factors. However, if you really love him, and you know he's the one, isn't it that you should wait for him..because he is the one that you believe. 

We were so unhappy after those talk. Finally i told him that i can give in and try to be ok with 29. But he has to give me time to be okay with it. I just want to stop talking about this topic already..
At the end, he felt so sad.. and told me that we can get married after i graduate. He even said he promised and i felt how earnest he was... however, deep down i was so sorry for making him feel that way... making him feel forced and pressured. I should not be like this... i should not force him into settling down with me... why should i...
maybe i just want to hear those words...

however, i know he's the one i want, and even if we could not settle down after i graduate. I will still wait for the moment he wants to spend his rest of his life with me. No matter what, i will wait for him. :)

Because i want him to be happy as well.